Dear President-Elect Trump:
I had a friend who once told me that as a father he would rather be obeyed out of fear than not obeyed at all. Such a policy might keep order at home, but it does little to engender feelings of love and trust between a father and his children.
When obedience, not love, is the objective in parenting, our children will obey us out of fear when they are too young to do anything else. But when they are older, fear loses its capacity to enforce obedience, and only love and trust are strong enough to motivate obedience and loyalty.
Gaining obedience out of love is a much more difficult proposition. It is upper division parenting, full of complexities, nuances, and subtleties. It requires parental warmth, patience, and trust. It demands firm rules that bring consequences, but consequences that flow from love.
Outside the home is a different question. People who would harm your family are not likely to refrain from harming them because of love for them or us. They will only refrain from hurting our families out of fear for our toughness.
Our family should trust and respect us while the enemies to our family fear us.
The same is true in the relationships between nations. Our actions must be such that our allies trust and respect us and that our enemies fear us.
Sadly, that is no longer the case.
To illustrate this, I return turn to a common theme of my letters: Ukraine and Russia. Ukraine is not part of NATO. As a result, no NATO country has an obligation under the NATO treaty to protect and defend Ukraine against Russian atrocities in Crimea and Eastern Ukraine.
But that does not absolve America of responsibility.
After the breakup of the former Soviet Union, Ukraine had the third largest nuclear arsenal in the world. Much of that arsenal pointed in our direction. The United States had a bona fide interest disarming Ukraine. We did so.
In exchange for Ukraine voluntarily disarming itself, we gave Ukraine two things: Money and our guarantee that we would defend the integrity of Ukraine’s sovereign borders. Ironically, Russia was also a signatory to that agreement—The Budapest Memorandum.
In 2014 Russia invaded Ukraine and expropriated Crimea and took control over a broad swath of Eastern Ukraine. The attack was completely unprovoked and involved not only Ukraine but also other nations as Russia shot a commercial airliner out of the sky as part of its offensive against Ukraine.
Ukraine pled with the United States for assistance in maintaining its sovereign territory, citing America’s obligation under the Budapest Memorandum.
Essentially, we did nothing.
We disarmed Ukraine in 1994 and did nothing to keep our word when the need to do so became a reality.
The question of defending Ukraine against Russia is not a question that requires new debate. It is an obligation that America assumed twenty-two years ago in exchange for Ukraine guaranteeing our safety from its nuclear arsenal. Mr. Trump: Our allies no longer trust us—with good reason. Our enemies no longer fear us—with good reason.
It’s time to rebuild trust within our allied community and to rebuild fear among those who would harm it. The safety of the world depends on our doing just that.
Sincerely,
David O. Leavitt
